An Iraqi man, reports the Chicago Sun Times, was arrested at O’Hare Airport in possesion of a penis pump. When asked what it was, Mardin Amin allegedly told an airport security officer that it was a bomb.
According to security officers, Amin clearly said the word “bomb” twice, presumably so that his mother, who was standing next to him at the time, would be proud of his martyr-like tendencies instead of finding out what a pervert he really is.
Amin is apparently under the misguided impression that every man in America keeps one of these devices in his sock drawer, but that could not be farther from the truth. It’s my own guess that penis pumps are pretty much the sole province of Judges who use them to pass the time while in the courtroom and the occasional young Muslim eagerly looking forward to his date with 72 virgins.